Who Asked For Your Opinion Anyway?

Its been a while...

2005-06-07T20:28:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it has been quite some time since my last update. Unsure of where to begin reporting what, but here is the past month or so in a nutshell- secured an apartment for next year, became Arts Editor, completed finals and moved out of the dorms.

Summer has begun, which has its pluses and minuses. The worst part of being home is being away from everyone at school, but the food is better- and I'm actually eating it. Unfortunately my rooms where I typically reside are full of stuff- things that need to be packed, unpacked, and thrown out. I'm working at Womack again, however doing some data input so that I may work from home. I should be working for Dad at some point once he has enough business to get going on, and I have an interview tomorrow at 2 at the New Haven Register for interning this summer.

"Too young to hold on, and too old to just break free and run..." - a little bit of Jeff Buckley never hurt anyone.

In terms of music the summer couldn't look much more promising. Coldplay's "X&Y" was released today, and I've been fiddling with a copy I found online for a week or so now. I love it, and I don't care what John Pareles or Sanneh thinks. Sure its a much grander sound, and I can't expect everyone to love it, but its worth a listen. "Fix You" could potentially be a major hit, and its a wonderful, poignant ballad. Go pick this album up, and at least listen to "Fix You", its a testament to the power of music.

The Foo Fighters release their next album, "In Your Honor" which is rumored to be dedicated to John Kerry. First disc all rock, the second being acoustic- which sounds like a great idea to me. Something for everyone. Other release to look into - Tracy Bonham's new album and Billy Corgan's solo work.

I've begun to research grad schools at a basic level, and it seems that no matter which track I decide to pursue (either Journalism or Archaeology) that I'm in fairly decent standing to be competitive...at least, I'd hope so. Within my wondering/daydreaming of the future I can't help but think of how unprepared I am- in terms of traveling. To travel seems to be one of the greatest gifts anyone could ask for. If there is only one life spent on Earth, you might as well spend it doing and seeing as much as I can, which I'm sure relates back to my "time is more valuable than money" state of mind.

I was driving home from picking up some work today on an industrial backroad in my town, and I saw this man walking. He wasn't anything particularly unusual- red baseball cap- perhaps a Budweiser hat, denim shorts, sneakers, t-shirt and those fake diamond studded earings. But I couldn't help but wonder- where are you going? Who walks on a road like this. It may seem silly to even question or think about such things, but I've had this curiosity for as long as I can remember- wondering where people are going. Perhaps he's walking because his car broke down, or maybe he's just walking to work, or exercise may be the answer. Its not just here either, its on the highways passing cars, trucks, and all sorts of people.

Its never the questions you ask, but the ones you don't.

These sorts of situations usually come to me late at night where I find myself the only insomniac around- with the exception of this past weekend where I saw someone whom I haven't spoken with in a long time. It was good to catch up and talk again, I hope we continue to build again.

As for love and other musings of a twenty-something, I think I'm done asking about those...at least for now. The best things in life always come when you stop thinking about them, or when you least expect it- and perhaps that may be cliche, but it always rings true. Feelings and emotions of others which are not in a certain light now, "shadowed" emotion, will reveal themselves in time.

Well, now seems to be a good time to go read some more...
Till next time...

~M

Apocalypse Please

2005-04-06T18:48:00.000-05:00

"Don't come cryin' when your twig has broke and tree has fallen. You burn your own forest, laugh, and waste your time."

Or, as it should be aptly titled - "Hey, fuck you!"

Warning to those who will need it- aggravation is not appreciated, I don't need your stress, do your own job, and don't cry about everything when your world comes crashing down. If you're a friend, start acting like one, and stop making me your bitch for your own problems, its okay to vent, but not when you make it personal. I'm not your enemy, so don't treat me like one.

Life has been carrying far too many burdens recently, and I find myself drowning in the problems of others. If you have work to do- do it- take your free time, but don't complain when it ends. But maybe you should just get your shit together.

Allison made a great point about this space here- its my space, I put what I want - "its for you, not for them." (hence the motherfuckin' title).

Do you sense a bit of anger in the tone? You bet.

~M

"I'll pretend to care, while you pretend to sleep"

2005-03-07T23:21:00.000-05:00

" I see... Ooh I don't know why there's something else.
I wanna drum it all away..."

Kudos to the one who figures out the above quote without having to look it up. Preparing for my Roman Civ. exam hasn't been easy, at least, its not what I had hoped for. Names, names, names, and Latin titles. So much for giving a damn at this point, all I can do is try my best.

Anyway, today was pleasing in one aspect- I heard my mixtape being played by someone in a Dining Common dishroom. It was flattering and cool to hear that people care about what I write, or at least they're reading it.

"lemon yellow sun...arms raised in a V...
the dead lay, in pools of maroon blood."

I see a theme developing here. There aren't many words to express my current state of mind, except, its of an artistic-frame. As in, abstract concepts, some of which I can express, others which confuse my brain and lead it down a path of tricks- its almost like an internal mindgame that I DON'T want to be playing with myself...because I'm tired of mind-games, and I could use a resolution to a few, as well as a further explanation.

*cue/que/Q timpani and/or toms for Oceans*

Sadly-yet-luckily, break is soon. A time for some real sleep, and catching up on living....or work.

I could try to keep writing, to put something of depth, but such is pointless, as it will cause the illusion of a drug-induced reality. Back to sitting here in my room, in solitude, with sheets of paper...

~M

and yes, I realize thats not complete solitude.

I don't know why...

2005-03-07T00:20:00.000-05:00

but Wilco is the current soundtrack to my life.

Perhaps I'm just catching on to an old fad, or idea, but Wilco is indeed the band that rules me at this current moment (but no, the Arcade Fire haven't stepped aside either). I find myself growing increasingly attached to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and if you haven't begun to listen to it yet- you should.

Its grown on me, and I'm only beginning to scratch the deeper levels of their music.

Consider it an Indie-awakening...revelation...whatever..
^ speaking of revelation, I haven't listened to "Revelate" in a while....

Off for now!

~M

She's AWWWESSOMME!

2005-03-03T00:13:00.000-05:00

Yeah, props to those who were with me to understand the title's new meaning.

Now off to the wonderful rant of the day.
A. Working on a snow day sucks.
2. Getting emailed assignments when you have a cancelled class, sucks.
Q. People complaining about how hard their days off were- they suck too.

So yeah. Latin exam today- easier than I expected = good thing.

I'm (finally) starting to get back on the ball in life, which is also a good thing.

I'm also sure that if some people had the opportunity to major in being "misleading", they would, and in fact, the department would require reccomendations from the "Nahh, I'm Just Fuckin' with Ya" department and "GASology".

Essentially, nothing is certain- ever. And don't give me that "well the sun will come up tomorrow" crap, because you know thats just the day when that GAS ball goes fuckin' supernova, and yes, just to spite you. Wow, that was a little too Lewis Black even for me.

Marvin Gaye is the perfect solution to anything...well...almost. But alas, he's blaring in background as I type.

I think overall, even though the amazing amount of crap that has occurred during the week, its been a pretty good week. Hockey game Friday, and basketball on Saturday. Hell yes.

Well, I suppose I'm the clueless one now...
we'll see how that goes though....

Tis all for now...despite its random-yet-not-quality

~M

I've had a case of the Mondays.

2005-02-28T23:14:00.000-05:00

"Lua" - Bright Eyes

I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis; they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor’s west side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening; by the morning they’ll be gone.

When everything gets lonely I can be my own best friend
I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations
With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit.

I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we kiss
So many men much stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I’m not gamble you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won’t exist.

You’re looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
You just keep going to the bathroom always say you’ll be right back
Well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you’ve got it bad
But what’s so easy in the evening, by the morning is such a drag.

I’ve got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train
If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening, by the morning seems insane.

And I’m not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons have run away but the feeling never did
It’s not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is
What’s so simple in the moonlight, by the morning is so complicated.
What’s so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight

Ahh, so this is what fills my iTunes today...however I do not know why...but I enjoy it, not joyfully, not sorrowfully, but simply.

Media Crit is crap...among other things.

Thats all for now...

~M

Bleak darkness and the clouded heart

2005-02-26T21:01:00.000-05:00

The sound of the blues fills my empty room, and I feel as though I've betrayed others and myself today.

I've tainted my soul.

I'm not proud of it, and I'm a little depressed that I've let someone down. However, the right thing had to be done before the situation progressed, and I feel as though I should be happier for cleansing myself of guilt...

but this looming feeling has got me down.

Its been a hard, hard day for the heart.

~M

More Randomness...

2005-02-23T23:33:00.000-05:00

Quotes to remember-

"Purdont" (when opposed to Purdue)
"You fickle bitch."

and the most recent addition-

"Wow, you really are a space cadet....she's so clueless."

Things have become quite busy, as working at the Collegian consumes much time, followed by the constant need to play catch up with work. All in all its been a very rewarding experience, and I have some great friends in the making...

In the meantime everyone should listen to Ray Lamontagne - he is what happens when you cross Janis Joplin's voice with Bob Dylan's songwriting. There is something extremely powerful in his music, which is difficult to explain without being heard.

In the meantime, open your eyes and discover something you hadn't noticed before around your world...not that I mean that for anything/anyone/anypotato in particular........ ;)

Thats all for now...

~M

Random...

2005-02-16T21:39:00.000-05:00

A few basic thoughts of the moment:

1. Make up your mind, you can't have it both ways.

2. React to the world around you.

3. Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is really damn good.

That is all for now...

~M

Its Been a Good Day!

2005-01-14T21:13:00.000-05:00

Yes!

Finally some answers, and a new project as well!

Alex, Brian, and possibly Mike G. and I have embarked on a creative effort together. Its called "New Slang" - a site about pop culture and other musings we find interesting. It will encompass all kinds of good things, and hopefully our blog will emerge as a great webzine, if not, its a fun experiment. Check it out here.

In other news, I finally found out about the position I applied for at the Collegian- and yes, I will be the next Assistant Arts Editor. Looking forward to working with some great people, and making a great section.

Other than that, I've been watching 24 constantly, trying to catch up on a season and a half to the new season...

Looking forward to heading back to UMass, as there isn't much to do around here anymore... Give me a call if you're around though, I will be here through the 23rd, but things will definitely become busier when I head back, as I begin my training, get ready for classes, etc.

That seems to be all for now, even though it was a brief update.

GO PATS!

~M

National What?

2005-01-03T22:21:00.000-05:00

OK, whomever thought National Treasure was an awesome movie must -
A. Really love cheesy movies
2. Enjoy running with scissors
Q. Hasn't seen any other movie in a long time.

It was entertaining...but not anything besides the aforementioned.

"Caring is Creepy" by The Shins would have to be the theme song of the day. Why? Its been stuck in my head all day, and perhaps I've developed a fascination with songs pertaining to something with the snow (aka- Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) by the Arcade Fire). Either way, other than my really random previous post, I've still been thinking often, usually while lying in bed like most people do, or while in the shower.

I talked with my friend Joe today, and its amazing how we never miss a beat in our conversations. I could have not spoke with him for a month, and yet we pick right up again. Anyway, I think we'll need to hang out before he returns to college in Daytona, and perhaps go do a little talking with some of the girls we spoke about today(yes Adam, those ones)--- Madison and Fall River here we come! The indie girl may have been discovered....

As for tomorrow, I'm lucky enough to meet another friend from the past who is currently engaged! Good for her! Its glad to see that at least one of us has direction in our lives! Then, out with Care again as always to pursue more fun times together and with family...

That seems to be all for now...

~M

Questioning the Insomnia

2005-01-02T01:14:00.000-05:00

Ok, so its been a while since I've posted last.

It seems that every day since I've been home, I haven't quite been able to readjust my sleeping patterns back to normal. 1 am seems to be as early as it gets around here, which I still think is too late, I'm losing too much of my morning!

Perhaps its because I have much on my mind, and I need to lift the burden.

I've begun to question (as most 20-somethings do) why certain things, events, and people in my life, are there, and if I am truly happy with them. I don't simply mean friends either, parents of friends also fall under this umbrella.

More specifically, why can't some people get up and move on or away from something. I understand this is different for everyone, but it seems the "high school syndrome" has crashed its way into Wallingford. By this I mean, people who just can't get over "their past glory", and I use that term VERY loosely. Ok yes, I know what some of you are thinking- that I'm not over high school because I teach percussion whenever I can. Well, you're wrong. There is a difference between going back and "living back". I don't feel the need to fulfill a past role as others may, I simply do it because I enjoy doing it- teaching is fun for me.

But alas, this is a tangent. If you're in college now, please, try to live like you're in college. I, and I'm sure many others too, don't care if you were captain of the air hockey club, or if you scored two thirds of one fifth higher than Johnny on a test, or if you were 007 in your graduating class. The fact is- none of this really matters, and it doesn't make you any more than just that- 007 in your class. This says nothing about who you are. And yes, this is all really obvious and shouldn't have to be said, but perhaps if you take the time to read this, you might fit the catagory, and perhaps could make a change, in my opinion, for the better.

Alright, next point. If you're NOT in college now, it doesn't mean you're a failure. This plays off for two things- I heard a comment made over the past few nights from a parent about a friend of mine who is currently not at school. That doesn't make he/she a failure at all! Simply said, college isn't for everyone (look at Bill Gates now!--even though he was thief!) but also, there are circumstances involved as to one may or may not go. I didn't know how to react when I heard this at all. In fact, I could easily see where putting others down to make yourself/family/whatever look or feel better may work, but it says nothing except that you're miserable with your own life or image. Fuck image (and anyone who sees whats "pop music" will agree to that/ the syndrome people). That needed to be said.

I've been thinking of starting another blog- but this would be much different. In the midst of my late night musings, I find an emerging story/storyline idea forming. I'm wondering if a blog would be a good forum to make weekly postings, or chapters, something. It may be one of those things which leads to a greater self-discovery. Anyway, let me know what y'all think.

Yes, I stumble over my words when I speak, anyone who has spoken with me can hear that. The conclusion- I think faster than I can form my sentences and talk, and sometimes my thought processes are so complex, that it becomes more difficult to phrase exactly what I mean. I suppose I need to work on that as a Journalism major....that previous statement being said-

Its been a period of questioning what you really look for in people, friends, love. I think I may have arrived at some basic conclusions for myself. In terms of love, there needs to be truth in love, but more than anything- caring. Yeah, once again, sounding simple, but I mean caring on a deeper level, which in and of itself is not immediately apparent. Its the type of love where thinking is less and showing is more. Its hard to think of an immediate example, but noticing mannerisms unspoken, and applying the love to fit that mold. Ok reading that last sentence over, I realize that its a little too difficult to articulate my thought. Observation number two: Love isn't a far off thing, as much as it is close. I say this for the dreamers who are wondering when they're going to meet the love of their life, and haven't realized- they know them well already. The spark, flame, jolt, whatever comes quickly, and seemingly at random.

I won't say if this has happened for me yet as much as I have witnessed it happen around me 2 or 3 times since I have come home.

Well, it seems late enough now that I should stop typing, and start reading a book, and perhaps, sleep will follow.

Thats all for now...

~M

Bittersweet Homecoming...

2004-12-18T20:16:00.000-05:00

Ahh, at long last, I am finally home.

Its nice to have that eternal load of work lifted off my back, allowing some time for breathing and pondering. Perhaps one of the best parts of being home is being able to read whatever I wish, something I couldn't afford to do for most of the semester.

As good as it is to be home, I already miss hanging out with my friends back at school. Being able to just walk out in the hall and call your friends is something to be missed. However, I am looking forward to catching up with everyone here, and who knows what news will come about as we all vacation together.

As I sit here listening to Kings of Convienence's latest album ( similar to Simon and Garfunkel) I can't help but realize how much doesn't really change here, and what surpasses the trials of time to remain the same. People, of course, change, but some don't change as much as we'd think. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm simply making observations. I know you're probably thinking, "Good one Matt, thats obvious" but I doubt many really focus on the minutia to see how true this really is. Being here until the 26th of January will prove to be an interesting affair at the very least. Hopefully I will be able to accomplish some goals I've set for myself (yes, I will continue journalism-ing over break).

In terms of going to shows, I still wonder if anyone is up for pulling off the New Year's Eve Wilco concert at Madison Square Garden. I don't care where we sit, it just seems as though it will be one of the most amazing rock concert experiences, and you couldn't ask for a much better show....well....Coachella...but whatever.

The best news of the day came about when I discovered via Pitchfork (I knew they were good for something!) that The Arcade Fire is playing in Boston on February 3rd. So of course Adam and I MUST go...and we are!!! Anyone else who is interested in meeting up or anything at the show, or going too, should purchase tickets through TicketMaster and let me know ASAP.

Well, that seems to be all for now...I should be around for most of break, so please, feel free to call, or if you want to do something, I will be around...

That's all for now...

Fin!

~M

Good News For People Who Love Matt's Blog

2004-12-11T18:33:00.000-05:00

Yes...indeed, I thought about making the Modest Mouse reference, but avoided it. So there.

Anyway, this past week has been muy excelente.

Number one being my iPod has finally arrived, and I have spent infinite hours since its arrival playing with it. Although it has crashed (Windows mixed with Apple = Chaos), I haven't had much trouble otherwise.

Number two, Jeph Jaques is very cool guy, and you should all be reading Questionable Content by now.

Number three- UMass beat UConn 61-59. UConn fans- deal with it, you just got served, and you're still the best and will continue to win all season long. Nevertheless, we still owned you, albeit not by much....yeah!!!

Number four- Its the last week at UMass, which is incredibly bittersweet...as in, I look forward to coming home and not doing work, but at the same time, I hate leaving my friends up here.

Number five- I hung out with Julia once again at Mount Holyoke, which of course was a blast. From being snuck into the dining hall, and Julia being reprimanded by a chef(it must be because I was the ONLY guy there, thats why I stood out), to seeing Elliot Chang's standup comedy, and finally some accapella (fair warning, those shows are long! So if you really like it, you'll love it, otherwise you might find yourself dozing off).

Number six- I have been redeemed by The Frames, and I am now officially linked to off their website, which of course, is completely awesome for a fan and music reviewer. Go to news, then scroll to the bottom of the page, click on 'links' then 'reviews' and mine is under 'Irish Band Making Waves' . Totally sweet.

I might be seeing Ocean's Twelve tonight, so hopefully the good times will keep running, especially as the final stretch approaches...

Thats all for now!

Fin!

~M

At the Axe

2004-12-05T23:21:00.000-05:00

Wow, if this hasn't been a Journalism loaded weekend, I don't know what would be.

Two interviews and my first blunder as a student of journalism.

I wrote a review of The Frames 'Setlist' this past week, and anyone who knows me well enough knows that I love The Frames dearly, and I am perhaps a diehard fan. Anyway, with that being said, I still managed to spell Glen Hansard, the lead singer's, last name incorrectly as 'Hassard' four times. I can't explain how terribly hard I have been on myself about this. Here is the sad part- The Frames website manager would like to put my review on their site, if the spelling corrections can be made online...which I think is awesome in and of itself.

We will see how this plays out though- as I need to get through the politics and policies of the Collegian first.

But on a note which really offends me, I'm tired of all the complaints from 'diehard' Frames fans. I took ALL other spellings and information from The Frames website, yet I have received emails telling me either my review is wrong, or that I missed the point, especially on one song in particular - God Bless Mom. Ohh man! This just shows how people pick and choose what they see! While I said the song has one of the worst moments of the album, I also said it has one of the BEST live moments in all of the live albums I've ever heard. Its sad to see that fans will kill you and the band will forgive. And seriously- its a review- that means its MY opinion and no one else. I included what I wanted based on presenting a band nearly no one has heard of to a campus of 18,000. I tried to pick what makes them stand out and what will grab a listener's ear. I stand by my review in every aspect except the technical error I made.

Fin!

~M

Totally Sweet...

2004-12-02T19:10:00.000-05:00

So this bit of news came to my attention today via Ian...

Coachella Music Festival 2005 (tentative list)

April 30th
David Bowie, Nine Inch Nails, PJ Harvey, Coldplay, Interpol, The Faint, Franz Ferdinand, Polyphonic Spree, Boards of Canada, TV on the Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Squarepusher, Clinic, French Kicks, Secret Machines, Phoenix, Beep Beep, Dogs Die In Hot Cars, Death from Above 1979 and The Helio Sequence.

May 1st
REM, Tears For Fears, Wilco, Modest Mouse, Bright Eyes, Jimmy Eat World, Mos Def, Badly Drawn Boy, The Streets, Spoon, Cake, The Postal Service, The Shins, Sleater-Kinney, Rilo Kiley, Radio 4, Doves, Iron and Wine, The Arcade Fire, Moving Units.

Need I say more?

I think there is MORE than enough reason to go...I think Ian and I are already planning a trip, and of course BRIAN WALL should go too. Along with anyone else who wants to come.

L.A. for four days, that will be awesome...I guess I will have to start saving my money...roughly a 500 dollar trip, but so worth it.

In the meantime, Latin translations, Archaeology and Journalism projects.

That is all!!

~M

Bah?

2004-12-01T21:04:00.000-05:00

Dammit.

I didn't get into the Travel Writing and Photojournalism class....so no Sicily this Spring Break.

To compensate, I just bought myself a 20 GB Apple iPod.

I am pleased.

Fin!

~M

A little more Damien...

2004-11-22T09:26:00.000-05:00

Older Chests

Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
Too many books
Read me your favourite line

Papa went to other lands
And he found someone who understands
The ticking, and the western man's need to cry
He came back the other day, you know
Some things in life may change
And some things
They stay the same

Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

Older gents sit on the fence
With their cap in hand
Looking grand
They watch their city change
Children scream, or so it seems,
Louder than before
Out of doors, and into stores with bigger names
Mama tried to wash their faces
But these kids they lost their graces
And daddy lost at the races too many times

She broke down the other day, yeah you know
Some things in life may change
But some things they stay the same

Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time
Time, there's always time
On my mind
Pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

My Revelate!!!

2004-11-18T16:01:00.000-05:00

Holy Mother of Rock!

The Frames are coming to Joe's Pub in NYC on December 3rd! Thats a Friday bitches!!! Two sets back to back, 15 bucks a set, 18 and over show. Who's in? I know I'm almost definitely going...its about time for an awesome live show, as I have been starving for a great show...And they're coming back in March...you can already guess who'll be covering that show.

Back to Latin...

~M

Yeah...

2004-11-11T13:07:00.000-05:00

Well I don't know if I'm wrong
Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease
I'm sure when I'm older I'll know what that means
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Here's to the man with his face in the mud
And an overcast play just taken away
From the lover's in love at the centre of stage yeah
Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind
Loving is good if your dick's made of wood
And the dick left inside only half understood her
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away yeah
What makes him stall, what makes him stand
And what shakes the elephant now
And what makes a man?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know you any more
No, no, no, no...

I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause shes only just gone
Why the fuck is this day taking so long
I was a lover of time and once she was mine
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Well closer to god is the one who's in love
And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
But I've fucked it up now, too many times
Loving is good if it's not understood
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away and
What makes him tick apart from him prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Hell I don't know you any more
No, no, no no...

Well I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease
I finished it off with some French wine and cheese

La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur la petite dodo

La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi et la pluie
Elle me manque
Pourquoi?
Non,non
C'est la chanson, la nuit, le vent
L'amour , le son
De la petite Dodo

So G. and I have decided to go about an open relationship for a while.... There seems to be too much on our minds to really make a committment, at least, thats how it seems. I don't know, I feel ambivalent about it all, but I'm hopeful that things will settle by winter break, if not sooner. Its more difficult to think about someone being there for you now, and then with someone else later, which makes me sad to say the least. Maybe its time we need, or to just begin to rebuild something we had, where hopefully Everything's Not Lost...

Alas, the Damien Rice song "The Professor" covers much of how I feel about now. At least we're together in a sense, but I hope the "I don't knows" turn into "know.."

~M

I've made the switch...

2004-11-10T16:05:00.000-05:00

Heard some good advice from a friend today- perhaps its the kind that can make things work out for the best...

Anyway, I'm here to declare I've switched out of Anthropology as my secondary major and into Classics- yet still a focus in Archaeology. So I'm feeling a little bit better now (sorry Anthro people!).

In other news, my rents are coming up for the Dean's List Reception tonight, and then I have tomorrow off...Thank God, I have a ton of stuff to do...but tonight, its time to catch up on some GTA with the guys, and perhaps talk some more with my lady...we'll see how everything plays out...

~M

I'm Hurt...

2004-11-09T23:15:00.000-05:00

The title says it all.

I'm hurt and I need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve. I do not know what to do, but its nearly impossible to accomplish much when you care much more about someone than they feel about you. I wish I could make this all go away...but I'm hurt.

~M

Thoughts From My Right Brain...

2004-11-09T17:40:00.000-05:00

Lunch is for the Lonely.

I shouldn't be left alone, because I begin to think a lot, and ponder the many facets of life. I may not be alone in the physical, but perhaps my inner-loneliness consumes me at these times.

Today at lunch was one of those times where I began thinking and who knew what was coming. I dunno why recently I think I would feel better if there was some way to return to that child-like innocence we have when we are so young. So many estranged memories are returning to me recently, I hardly know how to take them all, or why they return. Perhaps its because I was listening to In the Backseat by the Arcade Fire (which there will be a review of appearing on this site here by tomorrow) or perhaps I'm just a bit down because life seems to be flying by. Another year, another birthday, and so many friends who seemed to have been just making their way into/through high school are now about to enter/have graduated from college. Or is it because I cannot seem to decide what it is I want to do with myself?

I think what depresses me most is the urge to grow up so quickly that I see in others, to rush into life while missing out on what they have right now. Others perhaps don't realize how lucky they are- and perhaps don't see they have so much going for them. Others don't realize that there are those who do love them, and can't see it even when its so blatantly apparent. By all means school is important, but there are moments when you have to learn how to live.

Take the opportunities that present themselves, because life is about taking risks, and if you don't step outside of the box once in a while, then you're not living. Who knows how long we have here, and I know I don't want to miss out on anything. Don't be afraid to show love when love is given, or to love out loud. So take advantage of whats given to you, because you don't know when it will be gone or taken away.

Perhaps I've said nothing new, perhaps this message is directed more at you than you think, or perhaps its not. Either way, its worth thinking about this sometimes.

~M

Get A Clue.

2004-11-08T19:16:00.000-05:00

Some people really need to start realizing that real life shouldn't always be viewed through those rose colored glasses. Again, more later.
~M

So Much to Accomplish...

2004-11-07T15:05:00.000-05:00

Isn't it always true that the weekends can never be long enough? It seems as though I should be doing work that needs to get done, yet I cannot find the drive to get up and finish (or in some cases, start) those tasks.

This weekend was one for the movies. On Friday, I finally saw The Motorcycle Diaries- which is about young Che Guerva before his revolutionary days. A very good movie, and if you don't like subtitles, see it anyway, because it can open your eyes to some issues you may not have considered before. Also, Care came to visit for the weekend (woohoo!) and we saw Napoleon Dynamite. It was...interesting, and had its great one-liner moments which will keep me entertained for some time to come.

Off to do a little work for now, more to come later...

2004-11-04T15:56:00.000-05:00

For Lilly and Alex Goot...

America Left in the Dark

2004-11-03T15:43:00.000-05:00

Hope is on the way?

I thought my generation was supposed to be the ones out in massive numbers, the ones to make a difference, the ones to make change.

They failed. The same percentage of 18-29 year olds voted yesterday...and nothing changed.

Its hard to think of the future today, when it seems like I can barely make it by to tomorrow.

For those of you who voted for Bush- if there is a draft, and by the way, there is ALREADY talk of a specialist draft, I hope you get what you deserve.

Its a sad and depressing day, and its hard to think of ways to be removed from this solace..

~M

Heading into the Weekend...

2004-10-28T13:26:00.000-05:00

Ahh, yes, the weekend is upon us.

Thank god, it seems that this week has dragged out for far too long as it is. Papers, the game, and life as I know it has drained me. I feel exhausted, and I'm heading home this weekend with no real plans beyond visiting Gabby. I'm not even sure what we're doing, but I bet things will become clearer as they approach.

Yeah, I'm not in the best of moods, just a little stressed and worried about things of which I have no control over. Also, this whole debate over what to do in life- continue the archaeology/classics path, or to switch and work with International Relations. Its hard to tell whats right for me.

I need to get more organized, I can't seem to keep my side of the room in a managable order. I have this ever-so paranoid instinct which is telling me someone is bothered by something I'm doing, or something I've been doing, and if they want to tell me, its easy to make an anonymous post in my blog...that way things can be sorted out.

As I sit here looking out my window, listening to Broken Social Scene, I wonder if I will be more motivated to actually sit down and do something, or if I will avoid my 'problem' to sit and play games to make myself feel better. Thats what games are supposed to do, right? Put you in a simulated world to make your own not seem quite so bad?

I have a somewhat tough decision to make, and it will seem quite asshole-ish I'm sure to even make a post about it. I have the opportunity to apply to be in a Travel Writing and Photojournalism class next semester that meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6-8 pm. Of course, the big thing is, you go to Sicily over spring break and write about your trip. My dilema is as follows- if I go, my parents will help with the cost in the form of my birthday and Christmas presents...which I know is incredibly generous, but I'm so torn as to whether or not this is a valuable experience or not...its terrible, I know. Like I said, I realize its there as an opportunity and I feel like a complete ass for even mentioning it, but I need to get some clarity into my method of thought. Yeah...

Sorry for the mostly ranting, depressing post...but sometimes you need to get it all out.

~M

So even if its over...

2004-10-27T20:28:00.000-05:00

As in, if the Sox win tonight...just remember three things:

Be a gracious winner, if you win, you should be proud of your team, but not rude to others (unless they've been complete "tools" to you, but I have not).
Baseball IS NOT life. So grow up if you think it is.
Go out and vote next Tuesday. There are much more important things to be worried about.

If you disagree with me, then you're already a lost cause.

Either way a few things will get interesting if the Sox win... First and foremost, the team's fanbase is largely based on losing for soo long. Its true, you may not like it, and I'm not saying you should, but its true. The curse will have ended, or did it ever really exist? Who cares, the Sox will become every other team after their win.

Personally, there is no entertainment in this whole ordeal left for me since my team is not playing.

In terms of Yankees fans- this means no more 1918 stuff, and probably a lot of stuff about 2000 vs. 2004. Whatever. All you need say is 26 and 39. But lets stop arguing and just play the game, the rivalry is great, but as long as you're not rude about it, its cool.

You might be wondering why I bring up the whole rudeness factor so often. There are so many people who base their entire lives on something as trivial as baseball (and yes, I do understand what it feels like to not win for a long time) and get in my face about my team selection. I'm a Yankees fan and proud of it. Deal with it. And by deal with it, I mean, don't attack me with shoes and fruit, and though it sounds funny, you have no idea how bad it is till you experience it. A friend of mine was run out of the Blue Wall, a cafe on campus, just for not standing up with Sox fans. Thats bullshit. I went home for Game 7 to see Gabby and for fear of being attacked.

No sporting event should ever get that bad, and some of you might think its funny, but it gets beyond the joke to the point of discrimination.

Ahh, so now that I've got that out, respect my views and don't attack/criticize me/throw food at me on the basis of my team selection. If you do, then you're just not a friend or a decent human being.

Ahh yes, I am looking forward to getting my friends back from baseball and coming home this weekend. In terms of big news, I'm thinking of changing my major from Anthropology (Archaeology) to International Relations. Why you ask? A number of reasons, but mainly because I find myself asking why I want to pursue archaeology with all the theory involved. It seems like I expected to be learning more about the culture in the cultural context and not so much the socio-economic ones. I thought I'd be educated more about religions of cultures, like Egypt, but I couldn't tell you much beyond Ra being the sun god. Its interesting stuff, and cool, but I'm seriously questioning whether or not its for me....Thats all for now...off to doing some work and watching the Sox finish off the Cards...

~M

"C'mon! C'mon!"

2004-10-22T17:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, so its been a little while since I last posted. This past weekend (you know, LAST weekend) was a fun one, but full of ups and downs. After hoping to watch the Yankees-Sox game on Friday night, it was cancelled. So of course I was productive...as I crafted a newly furnished home for Ben, his pregnant wife, and myself in the Sims 2. Yeah. Right now I'm playing the third wheel, but things will change once my guy realizes he has nothing to be depressed about. I was hoping to go see the Motorcycle Diaries, but I unfortunately had no one willing to go with me.

At random during the Sox-Yankees matchup on Saturday, Jared, a friend of mine from the other side of the hall and fellow Yankee fan, decided that he and his roommate Mike, with their friend Marty, were all going to Mount Holyoke for Las Vegas night. As it works out, I talked to my friend Julia, whom I haven't seen in five years, who goes there now.

Sweet.

So we piled in Mike's parents car, a ghetto Mercedes with a blaring tapedeck, and we drove to MoHo blasting the Beastie Boys all the way. When we arrived there, we met with a girl by the name of Jamie, who I believe was one of Julia's friends- apparently Julia was too drunk to come get us herself. Our ecclectic posse made our way to Julia's room to meet up with Lindsay (another blast from the past), and her friend Mike. Overall the night made for an interesting one, especially when we headed to the dance where, well, lets keep it simple- it was like every movie high school dance, and just as crazy, but still a great time. A crazy night of getting out, and having fun with some old friends.

Speaking of which, thats exactly whats happening this weekend. Jared and I are going to a few shows at the Iron Horse- the first of which is Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers. It should be interesting to see an Amherst native rocking out where he started. Then its The Breakfast- formerly Psychadelic Breakfast. Ahh yes, this reminds me of good times with Wall, Polar Midknight, and our crazy drummer family. Oh, before I forget, EVERYONE SHOULD CHECK OUT QUESTIONABLE CONTENT . Best comic ever. Period.

Also, I'm going to see Sondre Lerche tomorrow night. Lots of shows, lots to do... More to update on later, including my surprise visit home to Gabby...thats all for now....

~M

"Hey, yo want some weed?"

2004-10-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

No, no I don't want any of your green crap you stoner.

I was locked out of my room today, so I walked down the 7 flights to get to the Cluster Office to get a spare key. I unfortunately arrived early to meet this hippie-moron, or as some would call him, a "fuckass".

Moron- "Cluster Office?"
Me- "Yup!"
"You locked out? What room do you live in?"
"Yeah...720 Field."
"Do you snowboard?"
"No..."
"That would be ironic, man, because you know what a 720 is in snowboarding"
"(begins to realize he's a moron)- yeah...some sort of trick?"
"Yeah man! Cool, cool. You smoke?"
"No......."
*wipes out his stash* "ahh too bad man, I gots plenty. "
"Good for you....(I should have pretended to be an RA at this point and faked out his ass)"

Who does that? Weird. I suppose it happens though. Of course, I then returned to my room to listen to my "Stoner" music, or Acid Trippers Anonymous. Nothing like The Mars Volta, JJ72, Placebo, and Rage to get you going to clean your room...

Perhaps I will go see a movie later...who knows...
Tis all for now...

~M

2004-10-15T14:03:00.000-05:00

No explanation needed, Q is the man.

Vote For Change...

2004-10-13T15:59:00.000-05:00

I voted for change last night- I received my absentee ballot, filled it out, and sent it in. Lets hope that Kerry will win...and I'm open to other opinions, but he at least seems to be the lesser of two evils, and anyone who knows me well enough understands how strongly I feel about this coming election.

Today was a fairly uneventful day. Amazingly, I did not receive much work due for Friday's classes, which is wonderful. Tonight will be rough either way- I will be watching the debate for class (and for myself), as I listen to Sox fans cheer at any single hit they get. And for the record- Curt Schilling - Shut up. There, glad I got that out of my system.

The Flaming Lips are awesome, and I don't know why I like them- but I do. I was just listening to "Fight Test", and I felt the need to rock out air-band style. Now John Coltrane is playing on my playlist....who knows what will be next.

Wow, I'm pretty certain I have 1 million other things I should be doing right now, but all I want to do is write in my blog to entertain the bored ones who actually read this once in a while.

I could go for some real food right now, but I doubt I will actually do anything to get it.

Well, I should go do something...somewhere. Yeah.

~M

2004-10-13T15:57:00.000-05:00

Yes...this is the "rally stubble", as taken by Ben.

Ahh yes...

2004-10-13T08:11:00.000-05:00

Fear my rally stubble*!!!
DO IT!!

just because its not possible for an Irish-Italian-Native-Canadian-French guy to grow a full beard.

FEAR IT!!

~M

"Matt, You're Such a Disease..."

2004-10-12T11:49:00.000-05:00

Ok, well I modified my Home Alone quote a little there... but this seems to be true today! Everyone I have been with recently is getting sick, or simply is not feeling well. Care says shes not feeling well. Andrea is getting sick. Before you know it, the plague will hit Gabby as well.

Ben's brother Mike came up for the night last night, which was a pleasant surprise. It was nice to kick back a little before this week begins...

Which is because this week will consume my life as I know it. My Dean's Book project (paper, visual, and presentation due Monday!!) will be end all as I know it. Followed by never-ending piles 'o' journalism stuff (300 pages of reading, plus the New York Times, and probably the Gazette, plus covering a speech somewhere in the valley). Soo much, yet soo little time. To bring back an old phrase from Phi B D:

DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I'll probably have to fit a Collegian article in their somewhere too...and who knows if in Seminar in Election Coverage will hold an exam soon.

Some of the confusion, if not most of it, was cleared this weekend. Things are good with Gabby at home, and by far, less confusing up here. Its just another "fork in the road" time of life.

That seems to be all for now...and that may be all for a while, as I need to get cracking...

Sounds of life: Thievery Corporation's Outernational Sound, Brian Wilson's SMiLE, and Sleeping At Last's Ghosts.

Thanks (to all involved) for a better weekend than I had hoped....

~M

"Could Have Knocked Off the Evening..."

2004-10-08T21:14:00.000-05:00

One would expect Fridays come with great anticipation- especially for the long weekend.

I'm not quite feeling it as much as I have in past weekends though, so much runs through my mind as the days approach. Its been quite an experience this past week, perhaps more mental than anything. Life does not seem to present the easy answers we'd all like to seek at the most crucial moments.

Thats all for right now...

"Now Testify!!!!"

2004-10-07T16:31:00.000-05:00

Of course that means I'm listening to a little bit of Rage Against the Machine. Is it too much to call them The Clash of the 90s? I don't know, ever since SOMEONE claimed to not know much about them, I've found myself listening more intently than I used to.

Interesting day today- somehow really cold in the morning, and once again my room has somehow mangage to reach levels of unbearable heat. Stupid Valley weather.

So last night, Lilly and myself went to Smith College for a lecture/panel on 1st Amendment rights. A bunch of lawyers from the 1st Amendment Center were there. It was interesting overall, and there was a great spin placed on a hypothetical question. If people were to protest President Bush with signs that said "You lied about Iraq", and the Secret Service forced the protesters to move a block away from the President, is that against Free Speech? I'd say yes.

Here's the spin though...If there was an abortion clinic in your town, and protesters gathered there every day, could you tell them to leave without stomping on their rights too? Its an interesting question, and I'll have to spend some time later on it, pondering it some more.

Not to say more of the same, but I know someone wants to go see Wheat with me tomorrow night at 10 pm, you know you do. You're (or y'all are) simply afraid to say it. So do it. Come with me. Yeah.

For those of you not at UMass, or for those who do not realize it, the coup d'etat of our floor has begun. Its on, bitches. Q and I announced yesterday to Andrea that we're taking over, and she can't do anything about it. She didn't seem to care- either that or she was unimpressed.

Oh God. I hear Leppy coming. I wish a I had a Nite-Sight nearby, so I could waste that kid. Oh well, he's passed by now.

I have SO much work to do today. Over 300 pages for Journalism!! And no, I didn't wait around, I started it, but he assigned 200 more pages today. I have to cover a speech next week for that class, and write a (fake) obituary for Brian Wilson. Unlike Dick Cheney, I get my facts straight, as www.factcheck.org is awesome. Also, I have to write a Paper on Paul Krugman, a New York Times Columnist. Then I must work on my clipfile, something for the Collegian, and email a prof.

Damn...so someone reply to this to make me feel its worthwhile.

And the confusion continues........

~M

"Floating fast like a hummingbird..."

2004-10-06T16:51:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so I finally got around to seeing Wilco, and they rocked out. I was in the last row, because Iron Horse messed up my seats (which were originally the front section) but thats ok since I still had a great time. I fell in love with Hummingbird after the show, and it was great.

I've had so much on my mind recently...which relates to general confusion within my life, and thanks to those who have been helping me out. I think I'm at one of those crossroads in life, and I've generally lost focus on my work because of it. Thats not to say I'm not trying, because I am, its just more difficult. Its such a Garden State moment, and with all the music I've been listening to, it definitely seems like a mix-tape of feelings (even if thats too cliche' or a weak analogy, its still true).

This year feels much better than last year (minus the stomach condition), and I've met some great people along the way, and grown closer with others. Ben's like a brother to me, and he'll let me know when I'm fucking things up, and when to get on the ball. Adam and Q are my two other close friends who support me in whatever I do, and the same goes for Ryan too. Kathleen and Andrea I'm getting to know better, but are also good friends- Kathleen keeps it real with music and journalism, and Andrea is a good listener. ALL of them are cool, so deal if you think otherwise!

I'm busier now than I have been. I've been writing music reviews for the Collegian, and I've received much positive feedback for my writing thus far. Everyone should read them, they will change your life and make you a better person.

Latin is still a dead language.

Archaeology is the study of things long gone and forgotten...most likely for a reason.

If Santa Claus didn't hold a Monopoly (he owns the Boardwalk) on the toy market and there was a "Nerf Sciences" major, I'd be a billionaire.

Things to watch out for:

Leppy- who still asks dumb questions, thinks Pittsfield has a hardcore scene, and also believes Baba O'Riley is a rasta ripoff.
Q doing god knows what...one of these days someone's going to die.
The coup d'etat that Andrea KNOWS is coming, but she won't admit it to herself- we're taking over the floor once and for all.
Ñ - Neil - because he's coming to visit sometime soon, and thats going to cause the heavens to fall, and the earth to quake (damn physics).

That seems to be all I can think of for now, and I'm going to see Wheat on Friday night at the Iron Horse around 10 pm, and you know you wish to come with me... and help me get my review done. Thats all for now...

Back to doing what I do best...yeah.

~M

Why is it so difficult staying organized?

2004-10-03T01:01:00.000-05:00

Yeah. That says it all right there.

So apparently in my Journalism class (Seminar in Election Coverage) we are supposed to check bloggers to see what the politic spectrum/climate/atmosphere/stratosphere is at a current moment in time. Why? Because apparently opinions matter.

Confusion, once again, settles in deep in the head of Matt. Many decisions are to be made in the coming days...some more unfortunate than the others, and some, will change the course of the time-space continuum...ok, I admit- I'm not sure I spelled contin-you-um correctly.

But who cares anyway, I mean, its just a blog!

So this past weekend, since Adam, Ryan, and Andrea ditched(went home) Ben, Q, and myself, we hung out with Skippy (aka- Kathleen). We have almost too much in common:

We're Journalism Majors
Near-Identical taste in Music...to the point where its scary.
We call her Skippy...and I like peanut butter

Isn't that insane?

Now she's trying to pull me into her world of "broadcast journalism" and take me away from the Collegian . An evil masterplan she has....

So since Andrea is gone, its less exciting to go around shooting people with my Nerf Gun (Nitesite, its awesome and 6 bucks at Walmart).

Now because Leppy is being a dick, and playing bass in Neal's room, Neal and 3 of his friends from home have sought refuge in our room. I swear, that kid smells like raw sewage (Leppy).
So I imed Q and asked for his assistance..He then removed Leppy from the room, and somehow, the kid is wandering out in the Bowl now. What an idiot.

So apparently Billy Corgan has put out a book of poems now...I wonder if its any good and if so, is it worth reviewing for the paper?

I've found myself randomly jamming out to some Blue Man Group, of course, trying my best to remember all the set parts. It is, as always, a lazy Saturday day and evening, but Sunday will be more eventful- the return of friends, and Wilco at the Calvin Theater in Northampton...

Should be a good time....

~M

And if you are reading this with a better idea of what to do with my time, let me know.

2004-10-02T22:21:00.000-05:00

profile picture

2004-09-23T07:57:00.000-05:00

This is a test to see how this crazy photo program works...and if it actually does.

Latin...yes it is a dead language.

2004-09-14T19:00:00.000-05:00

And thats why I dropped out of Intensive.

What the hell is that...intensive?- here learn every declension (special endings) in two days...No wonder the Roman Empire collapsed. Latin 110 is so much easier- we're on the 2nd declension in about 3 days of classes. Must restart computer now....

What the...

2004-09-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

So I guess blogs are the new cool thing, but whatever happened to livejournals....